5 Ways Your Infant Is A Jerk

5 Ways Your Infant Is A Jerk

We’ve all thought it.  I know that your kid is perfect, but let’s be honest – infants can be straight jerks sometimes.  I thought we’d take a moment to look at a few ways that your infant is a jerk.

#1 Way Your Infant Is A Jerk

Bedtime can be such an awesome time because it means that you finally get some alone time to yourself or with your spouse.  But your infant can quickly throw a wrench in those plans when he or she refuses to go to sleep.  I know there are various methodologies when it comes to putting your kid down for the night, but that can be a topic for another time.

#2 Way Your Infant Is A Jerk

You or your spouse has prepared a delicious meal and it is time to sit down and enjoy, as a family.  This quickly goes south when your infant turns his or her head and refuses to try anything you put on their spoon.  So now your food is getting cold, there is pasta on the floor and in their hair, and you have to resort to giving them one of those premade pouches or something easy that you know they will at least eat.

Your Infant Is A Jerk

#3 Way Your Infant Is A Jerk

True story from last month – we were driving home, to Ohio, from North Carolina after our first family road trip.  Somewhere in the middle of nowhere, West Virgina, our son has the blowout of all blowouts in his pants.  So we find a gas station, which naturally had no changing tables…or possibly running water.  We end up stripping him down in the parking lot because it was so messy.  So I am holding him at full arm’s length, like you would a bomb…or a dangerous animal you caught, as my wife attempts to wipe him down.  It was quite the scene.  The morale of the story…your infant is a jerk when he waits to have a poop explosion at the worst time!

#4 Way Your Infant Is A Jerk

This one is actually pretty funny, especially when it is not your kid.  I am sure we have all been in a store and witnessed a good old fashion tantrum that resulted in the kid laying in the middle of the floor.  How dare you not buy them that toy that they’ve had their heart set on for the past 36 seconds?!

#5 Way Your Infant Is A Jerk

Testing their limits is a big part of your infant’s development. They are starting to put things together and learn what is right and wrong…and then they do the later.  You tell them not to touch the window and they slowly inch towards it, giving you glances to see what you’ll do until finally there are fingerprints all over the glass.  And now you have a crying infant because you yelled or corrected them for doing the thing you told them not to do.

What do you think of my list of 5 ways your infant is a jerk?  Do you agree?  Do you have other ways that should be on the list?  Feel free to share some of your own horror stories.


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